Ten Sweet Bliss

Besides, if he came in the afternoon, old people would be everywhere. Collin wanted to be alone with her. I feel like you should put more emphasis on "her" with ...

Great hook sentence. It immediately grabbed my attention. I especially like how you didn't really specify who was speaking, but you still made it obvious to infer who was. The ...

I find this really cute and heartwarming (especially the end!), so good job on that. Overall, I really respect the fast-paced events and thoughts you intertwine into such a brief ...

Likewise, I'd die to hear the recording of this song. Not only are the lyrics mesmerizing, but the imagery it invokes, and the sheer random sense! Parodies like this make ...

This is a massive improvement! Good job! :) Content-wise, I love what you did with the flashback sequence. Marie's personality is also obvious and critical from the start of the ...

I find the first paragraph very lightheated and oddly fresh considering the supernatural theme. My only concern really is that I get this feeling that Catcher is that cliche ditzy-girl ...

edit: I tried to cut out the similarities in my review from the one above so you wouldn't go nuts and hunt me down, but I left some in there ...

Holy moley, I think I'm in love...with a set of song lyrics... O_o I find the way you situated the words in each sentence absolutely unique, dazzling, and FUN. I ...

Vampires are the epitomy of sexual tension in literature. I swear to it. O_o Pure, [s]un-adulterated [/s] unadulterated , ecstasy. Also, I don't believe the comma after "unadulterated" to be ...

This is a very brilliant little beginning that deserves a true round of applause. The hook-sentence is absolutely clever and serves unbelievably well in grabbing the reader's attention--at least, in ...

The overall tone and mood of this little tidbit comes off to me as being very cute and sort of heart-warming in the teen-sense--in short, This specific mood brings a ...